Don’t you hate it when you walk outside naked and everyone in the neighborhood just happens, at that moment in time, to be doing yard work?
I’m not opposed to people doing yard work, I’m just opposed to people doing yard work during my outdoor naked time. It bugs me. Can’t an old man walk about with his dangle hangin’ out? I hate having to worry if people are judging me cause I’m too fat or too hairy or too old or too naked. It’s just not right.
I used to belong to a nudist colony — back when the Ex-Missus Poke and I were still dating. Back then no one minded my nudity cause I was quite the stud. I was skinny and my scrotum was well proportioned to the size of my testes. Nowadays, it looks like two marbles rolling around in a burlap sack down there.
Why does our skin stretch out in places where it has no business stretching out? I can understand the flaps of skin hanging where I used to have an ass because that area has been sitting down, standing up, bending over in a non-sexual way, and all other kinds of stretching for all my days. But my scrotum has never been stretched or pulled on …to the best of my knowledge. I am not into that sado-massachusettes bullshit, and I never got it caught in any kind of stretching device like the ill-fated Stretch-o-Matic 5000. So why is my custom leather bag too big for my bowling balls?
Women often complain that men have an unfair advantage because the older we get the more handsome we look. 1) I think that’s crap. 2) Even if it were true, what does it matter? Our sex organs have begun to look like Shar-pies and have stopped functioning, so what’s the big whoop about looking handsome? Everyone thinks those wrinkly dogs are cute, but would you put one in your mouth?
The only time a man takes an interest in how he looks is when he’s about to have sex. Unless, of course, he’s one of those new Metrosexuals. Personally, I never enjoyed having sex with the Metro or at The Met or with Mr. Met.
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Tags: old man skin, comedy, funny, Poke, The Poke Show
