The Poke Show

Can you not find a better place to up the chuck? I realize that the body gets what the body wants and it takes not into account the sensitive eyes of other bodies in other cars, but I can’t help but wonder why you didn’t even try to move over to the ditch or use your car as a shield. I mean, most folk would be embarrassed to just hang out of the side of the car spewing a brownish, chunky liquid all over the pavement. I guess because most folk are decent folk. So I guess you are not a decent folk. You are a bad folk. BAD FOLK!!!

Throwing up is a curious thing. Make-ah one man weep, make another man sing. But if you sing when you see someone puking, then you, my friend, are a sick puppy. And I don’t want to be your friend anymore, so stop calling me.

I once got an email (from Jose) with a link to a video of a woman throwing up on a dog as porn music played. I cried for like three days after that. I mean, what is sexy about porn music? I never get turned on by porn music. That damn music ruined my enjoyment of what should have been a very sensual moment. Now if there had been some Mellencamp playing…I would’ve been doing something else for three days…trying to get that damn “Our Country” song out of my head.

What makes us throw up? Does what throw up must come done? What kind of medical condition has symptoms of simultaneous bleeding, sweating, and leaky tear ducts? These are questions that may never be answered or maybe never should have been asked. But one thing is certain, seeing that guy puking on the side of the road was really, really gross.

Poke

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Tags: puke, humor, comedy, funny, Poke, The Poke Show

Jul 09

Ma-Ma-Ma-My Fake Name-ah

What Makes Poke Think? 5 Comments »

I’m pretty sure there has never been a woman named Sharona. It’s gotta be a fake name. Who would ever add an “a” to “Sharon”? I’ve met a couple of Sharons who could stand to loose some of their “a”, but have yet to meet a Sharon that needed an “a” added to her. Most Sharons come equipped with an “a” from birth.

Speaking of “a”, I took an assessment test (get it, ass-essment, tee-hee) and I found out that I am an excellent reader. So if there was a job out there where I could read for a living, I’d probably make an excellent living doing that job.

Hey!

That thought got me to thinking just now. I read a lot of blogs. I should start charging people to read their blog. It actually could work well for both of us. For a small, nominal, insignificant fee I will read your blog then tell you what sucks about it so you can mold it into something that I would like more, which would make me want to read it for free so you would get to stop paying me to read it. See, I’m saving you money in the long run.

Have you ever tried selling glasses to a blind man?

It’s really not that hard. Just tell him they will cure his blindness, make sure to get the money up front, then run away with the glasses (it’s not like he can see where you ran to…you never gave him the glasses).

I find that we as a society do not pick on the handicapped enough. God made them lesser than us for a reason — so that we might have something to make us laugh in our otherwise pathetic yet normie life. But I don’t think we should laugh at them to their face. Especially if their handicap is that they have no face…I mean where would you laugh to?

I know that by making fun of the handicapped I am giving Karma a window of opportunity to make at least one of my future children handicapped. Karma’s always trying to make human’s pay for appreciating God’s gifts. Personally, I think Karma’s pissed that he got stuck with Buddha when God was picking out ideals for his new religion/money making scheme.

But if Karma does give me a handicapped kid, I hope her handicap is that she is “a”less. Then I can name her Sharona, and that song will finally make sense to me.

Poke

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Tags: My Sharona, humor, comedy, funny, Poke, The Poke Show

Jul 08