The Poke Show

I tried to think of some funny things to say in conjunction with this sketch by The Non-Retards, but couldn’t think of anything not covered or uncovered by Jose. What I find amazing is that Jose can say anything at all. I personally have never met a man so needlessly, uninterestingly, boringly devoid of intellect.

He is a very stupid man.

If one were to ask, “How many Jose’s does it take to change a light bulb?” One would not get a very good answer, because we can never truly define what a Jose is or isn’t or could be.

Is a Jose a man, woman, deer, or child? Is Jose everlasting or short tempered? Is Jose no way? Is Jose can you see? And for that matter why is there no C in Jose? Does he not eat enough Oranges? What is an Orange?

I find the mystery of Jose to be, above all, hard to figure out.

For instance, all the things he says he’d never say, I heard him say. All I can say is, “WTF?”

And as I now find it time to go, I find it hard to say goodbye, because I don’t know how to say goodbye.

All this because of a bunch of Things Jose Would Never Say.

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Technorati : Jose, Poke, The Poke Show, funny, say, sketch comedy, comedy

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I went to see “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” this weekend, and all I can think about now is how hot this Orlando Bloom chick is. I mean I’d love to stick my pirate sword in her sheath. Of course, the movie was made all the more hot by the lesbian love triangle between her and that girl from the naked magazine cover. I did find it strange that a big summer movie for families would be so open about gay marriage, but it is a Hollywood movie.

Anyway, I give the beautiful lesbian love story five pirate swords up, and the rest of the movie no pirate swords (okay, maybe half a pirate sword for the giant, half-naked Jamaican chick).

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Technorati : Pirates of the Caribbean, Poke, The Poke Show, pirate sword, pirates, sketch comedy

I used to have a college buddy who could do knife tricks. I don’t recall his name, but I think we called him Knifey or That Guy Who Does Knife Tricks. Aw, who am I kidding, I never went to college. I once went to a college to meet some drunk sorority chicks.

The knife trick guy was my Uncle Bobby. He and his wife Three Fingered Kate were like my parents growing up, they were never around. When I see those magicians like the Mind Freak guy do knife tricks, I think about Uncle Bobby and Aunt Kate and wonder what they’re doing now.

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Technorati : The Poke Show, funny, humor, knife, knife trick, poke, trick, twisted, sketch comedy

Okay, I’ve been asked to post about this video. It’s the video that started it all. It gave birth to this site. It rocked the world (if 200 views –at the time of posting — can be considered “rock”ing), it changed lives, and it forever created the lore of Poke and The Poke Show. Sucks to be you.

Easter is a happy time for the Poke household. Instead of eggs we hide nudie mags and instead of kids on the hunt it’s just me and a bottle of Lubriderm. I often enjoy a nice Easter water hose spray down. The neighbors don’t like it, but Jesus died for the Bill of Rights and if the constitution says I can be naked and wet in my front yard, then who are they to question it?

I think the thing I like best about Easter is how easy it is to get chicks during that time of year — and I ain’t talkin’ about baby chickens. It’s only second to Christmas as a time when a normally respectable woman would stoop to genital smackin’ with a guy like me. At Christmas it’s cause they’re lonely and vulnerable, at Easter it’s cause they feel sexy in their flirty spring dresses and pissed-off cause they had to go to church with their folks only to see what they missed out on when they passed up all the losers from high school who now rock the trophy wives and hold down good jobs. That’s exactly when Poke arrives in a blaze of Christ-like glory to patch the snatch then ride off into the Easter sunset having performed almost as good a deed as the Lord Jesus himself.

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Easter, Movie Reel, funny, The Poke Show, sketch comedy, dark humor