The Poke Show

I’m a horny white man. I’m so horny, even Lara Flynn Boyle makes my Li’l Poke take notice. I haven’t had sex in nearly three weeks — that is if you don’t count Scruffy (Zoophilia Tip #1: Instead of using Peanut Butter, try Breath Paste…kill two birds with one stone).

If I were a Chicken Fried Steak Sandwich from Dairy Queen, I’d be The Lewd.

If I were Fergie, I’d have a hit singled called “Amorous.”

If I were a Type of Chinese Soup, I’d be wanton.

If I were a British Female Songstress from the 60’s, I’d be Lusty Springfield.

If I were a forest fire, I’d be aflame.

If I were Barry Bonds, I’d be juiced up.

If I were a dead-pan mechanic from Seinfeld, I’d be David Smutty.

If I weren’t being pursued, I’d be unchaste.

If I were a bathroom mirror, I’d be steamed up.

If I were an 80’s Comedian Turned Actor, I’d be Randy Quaid.

Poke

Technorati : Barry Bonds, Dairy Queen, Dusty Springfield, Fergie, Poke, Randy Quaid, Seinfeld, The Poke Show, Won Ton, horny, horny white man