Wanna know a way to seduce any person no matter their race, age, religion, or creed?

Step 1) Take off all your clothing.

Remove all your coverings. Unleash your fleshy nakedness on the world. Let it all hang out. Let the girls or the boys bounce about.

Get nude.

Note: This step is involved with most of these types of processes. Nudity is a big turn on for every single person alive.

Step 2) Find your desired seducee.

Seek out the person you want to attract. If it is a male, you will likely find him in any number of places — in front of the T.V., taking a nap on the couch, in the garage pretending to work on his car, on the toilet, or in front of the T.V. If they are female, you will likely find her in the kitchen.

Note: This step is crucial. You can not expect this to work if you just stay alone and naked. Even though alone and naked often leads to fun, it never leads to attraction.

Step 3) Wiggle your hips around and shout: “!”

Make sure flippy-flappy-floppy parts do not endanger your seducee.

Note: There is no one that can resist this technique.

There are some skeptics out there who claim that further research is needed when the naked shouter of “!” is a man and the seducee is a woman. They say that women are not attracted to visual stimuli.

It might surprise you to know that I agree.

A Woman is most certainly not turned on by a man showing her that he has balls. But if he shows her that he has balls…well, no woman can resist a man with a set of balls. He will not succeed if he merely shows her his ballsies, but she will go weak in the knees when she sees that he’s ballsy. A woman has no use for seeing a man with big cajones, but she will readily have coition with a man that can show her that he has big cajones.

So remember this little rhyme:

If you take off your clothes
And seek out your mate
Scream “!”
The Crimson Tide will be late!

Poke

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