Not many people know this, but I am single handedly (pun intended, read on) responsible for the most notorious of our time.

It happened like this: I was walking to the corner store and I was abducted by two in a wood-paneled station wagon. They took me to a remote location in the heart of New York City. It was a room with a view of a mid-town high rise — I could see two lesbians having sex on their balcony and I got my own high rise. I was given a camera, which I thought was supposed to be used in the video taping of the lesbian sex, but you know those are all about violence and , so they repeatedly beat me until I finally looked away from the .

It was then that Bin Laden walked into the room in a chef’s hat (he apparently runs a bistro in Manhattan — they call him ), and that’s when I realized that I was about to make one of those . He told me to start recording, so I did. He told me to point the camera at myself, so I did. He told me to drop trou and play with my aforementioned high rise, so I did. He took the tape and instructed the to take me back from whence I came, after I winced and came that is.

I’m not sure what happened after that, but I do know that a man who sells drugs at the corner of 5th and Wabashia, who claims to be undercover C.I.A., told me that they were able to because of his weakness for home made Brad Pitt look-a-like porn. Of course you’ll never read a headline like “” in the New York Post Times, because Brad Pitt and his lawyers want to keep my existence under wraps. It all equals out in the end because he occasionally lets me have sex with Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, and Gwyneth Paltrow…at the same time.

Poke


Technorati : , , , , , , , , , , , ,