Things Jose Would Never Say.
The Non-Retards, The Poke Show Original Sketch Comedy June 10th, 2007I tried to think of some funny things to say in conjunction with this sketch by The Non-Retards, but couldn’t think of anything not covered or uncovered by Jose. What I find amazing is that Jose can say anything at all. I personally have never met a man so needlessly, uninterestingly, boringly devoid of intellect.
He is a very stupid man.
If one were to ask, “How many Jose’s does it take to change a light bulb?” One would not get a very good answer, because we can never truly define what a Jose is or isn’t or could be.
Is a Jose a man, woman, deer, or child? Is Jose everlasting or short tempered? Is Jose no way? Is Jose can you see? And for that matter why is there no C in Jose? Does he not eat enough Oranges? What is an Orange?
I find the mystery of Jose to be, above all, hard to figure out.
For instance, all the things he says he’d never say, I heard him say. All I can say is, “WTF?”
And as I now find it time to go, I find it hard to say goodbye, because I don’t know how to say goodbye.
All this because of a bunch of Things Jose Would Never Say.
Poke

June 10th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Jose can’t be THAT stupid if he is a SAINTS fan!!!!
June 10th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
He’s a life long SAINTS fan. That’s like being a lifelong fan of ineptitude (save for one year of luck and emotion).
Poke
June 10th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
I can share in that. I had a poster of Manning Sr. on my wall back in the 70s. My pain goes way back.
June 11th, 2007 at 1:35 am
Is anyone having problems viewing the Revver player?
Poke
June 11th, 2007 at 10:02 am
…your mom is having problems viewing Revver Player….IN HER ASS!!!!
June 11th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
That is a physical impossibility. You’ve proven my point.
Poke
June 11th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
I have a plug in that allows you to take Revver up the ass.
Do you want it? It’s a Sweedish import, so you need the European kind of holes to plug it into. Unless you want the battery version, which gets rid of the cord, but tends to leak all over your face, in your mouth.
Your pick.
June 11th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Revver Nevver Evver goes in the ass.
Poke
June 12th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Okay, wait a second…I know who Jose is (pretty funny guy in the sketch who looks like Mencia), I know who Poke is (he’s the guy up there responding to us), but who the HELL is Revver Evver? And why do I care?
Chris
June 12th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
You’ve gone and done it now…
Poke
June 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am
My Dearest Chris,
may I call you Chris?
I will be the first to admit that my physical attributes are similar to Mencia’s. I can assure you however; that is where the similarities end. Mencia is a loud Honduran who was hired as a cheap Band-Aid Comedy Central got for the Dave Chappelle scar. Mencia thinks that if he delivers his punch line loud enough it will be funny. That is like saying just cause you have a big cock you can make sweet-sweet, circus-freaky, sweaty, nasty, dirty-Love. Not the case; ask Nick.
In conclusion
thank you for the compliment and remember
CARLOS MENCIA IS A CANCER AND I AM THAT THING THAT CURES CANCER!!!!!
June 14th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
You’re right — you two have nothing in common.
Poke
June 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am
Dear Jose,
But of course, my dear man, you may call me Chris. Thank you so much for your information regarding the comedian Mr. Carlos Mencia. It was very informative, as I did not know that he REPLACED Dave Chappelle. I actually thought that he WAS Dave Chappelle, and that the Mencia was simply a new character.
Lastly, I hate to break this news to you, but there isn’t a cure for cancer. So I’m afraid if you are the cure for cancer, that sort of makes you nothing.
Hugs and Kisses,
Chris
June 28th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I watched this again, and it’s so good. It’s like a skit on Letterman. I’d love to see you guys spoof a talk show.